A Heart Not Easily Broken (The Butterfly Memoirs) (18 page)

I loved the way the black liquid fabric hugged every inch of her body. It felt like I had x-ray vision and could see through the silky material. I would never be able to forget the image of her chocolate nipples, and her taste forever imprinted on my tongue.

I allowed my eyes to wander farther down, past the midpoint of her thigh where the dress ended. Black strings wrapped around sexy calf muscles and down to her barely-there heels.

“Tonight, I only want you wearing the necklace and nothing else.” I let my eyes roam over her body again. “Well, you can keep on the heels.”

Her naughty laugh made me grip the doorframe to keep from carrying her up to her bedroom and making it happen now.

***

At the club, we were in the center of VIP. The guys toasted my success and promised tonight’s performance would be memorable. Ebony stood in front of the crowd and danced for me as I played. It was like déjà vu except this time the sexy woman on the dance floor was going home with me.

Finally, we were back at my place. True to his word, Javan had left the house to us.

In my room, I turned on music to set the mood. Not like either of us needed it. Tonight, I was letting her take the lead. She was the director of the beautiful music our bodies would make. I was the instrument waiting to be taken into her arms and played.

“It appears you have everything packed,” she commented, studying the bags resting in the corner.

“I’m ready. Though honestly, the most important thing is my guitar, it’s the money maker.”

She faced me, her leg set at an angle making her luscious hip pop. “I would have thought your hands were the money maker.”

I chuckled. “Put the two together…”

She pursued her lips. “True. I can think of other places where your hands are much appreciated.”

“Really?”  I angled my head and watched her.

An inviting smile shaped her lips as she walked slowly toward my large suitcase and slid the zipper open. “Would you like me to show you?”

“I can figure it out.”

Her seductive laugh shot straight to my groin.

She pulled the lid open and peered inside. “Looks like you’re missing something.”

Before I could ask her what it was, she made a move that left me speechless.

With slow mesmerizing movements, Ebony lifted the hem of her dress, revealing a sexy pair of underwear. Red lace sat between her shapely thighs with edges as thin as a shoestring. Then, her fingers slid smoothly over the material, gripped the edges, and pulled them down. I followed their journey, memorizing every seductive movement. When it reached her ankles, she steadied herself on the edge of the suitcase and kicked them over her heels. The thong disappeared in a compartment of my bag. Once it was zipped, she shimmied her hips, smoothing the dress back in place.

“That’s so you don’t forget about me.”

“Oh, baby, there’s no way I’m going to forget about you.”

She smiled and walked toward me, her hips swaying to the rhythm of the music. I loved watching her walk.

When she reached me, she put her hand on my chest and nudged me until I started walking backward. We stopped when my back hit the door.

She bit her lip and began unfastening my belt.

Oh yeah. Time to play.

I unfastened my tie and the buttons of my shirt.  After the third button, I pulled the thing over my head. It and the tie landed somewhere on the floor. Her mission accomplished, Ebony sunk down on the floor, taking my pants and briefs with her. Oh yeah.

She started at my navel and worked her way down, running her nails along my thighs. I ran my hand over her hair, and removed the pins. The curls fell lazily around her face, not that I could see it because she was busy working my anatomy like a pro.

“Damn, you’re good,” I gritted my teeth and lay my head back against the wall.

 My breath caught and my body quivered. I fought to focus on something to keep from losing it too soon, yet enjoy the pleasure she gave me. Multiplication tables, the theme song to Sesame Street…grandma wearing a bathing suit.

Soft caresses with her hands and mouth alternated with the strokes of a master.  She was good at seduction. If it weren’t for the support of the door behind me, I would have been down on my knees.

The list of things I would miss grew exponentially. Every last one of them had to do with Ebony. All of them weren’t about sex, but this was somewhere near the top.

All too soon, she rose to her feet, her lips trailing my abs with her hands in the lead. The moment she reached my neck, I placed my hands in her soft hair and kissed the hell out her.

Her moan went down my throat and into me.

“Turn around,” I commanded.

She did, and I reached around her and guided my head to the side of her neck. I nipped and teased her while pulling the silky skintight fabric of her dress down, freeing her breasts. It took seconds to unhook the strapless bra and drop it on the floor. Her breasts free, I palmed the voluptuous weights in my hands, running fingers over firm nipples. She arched, pushing them against my fingers.

She moaned her pleasure when my fingers left the first stop of the night and ended at the hem of her dress. Sliding it up, I revealed her perfectly round ass already free of its constraints.  I gripped her hips, pulled her against me, and teased.

“Oh yes…” she moaned.

I loved the sexy sound of that word as it rolled off of her tongue.

“Do you like the way this feels?” I whispered in her ear.

“Yes…” she purred, her body moving in time with mine, forming a rhythm of our own.

She angled her head for a kiss, our tongues mating…tasting…taunting.

I slipped my hand to the place I called home. Ebony shuddered in my hand, ripe and ready.

Without pulling away, I walked her toward the bed. When we reached it, she bent forward and assumed the position.

And then I saw it.

A blue winged butterfly sat on her perfect hip.

 I ran my finger over the tattoo lightly. We hadn’t been together in one, long, agonizing week. The new mark had nearly healed.

“I got it last week. Do you like it?”

Did I like it? Was she kidding? It was seductive as hell. I leaned over and ran my lips over it.

“It’s perfect,” I murmured and continued the journey over to her spine and up her back. We’d discuss the beauty of it later. Right now, I was on a mission.

Her hips swayed, her body called my name. I answered without hesitation and gave her what we both wanted. In one fluid push we were one. Her body rocked against me, while I gripped her hips and slid deep inside over and over again.

Forget her? That was impossible. I’d never forget the woman who not only rocked my world; she was my world, my rock, my inspiration, my heart.

My one and only Eve.

Tonight, I was determined that she not only hear how much I loved her, she would feel it, too.

All.

Night.

Long.

I didn’t need to sleep; I could do that on the bus.

It didn’t take long for her body to spasm as she cried out my name. Damn, I was going to miss that. I needed to hear it again, so I pulled out, turned her around, and lay her down. I continued to give her what she wanted, and take what I needed. I memorized every moan, every gasp, and every sound our bodies made as we slapped against each other, storing it for the long, lonely nights ahead.

When she came again, her body pulled me along for the erotic ride. When it was over, I panted, riding the euphoric wave.

Yeah, no way in hell I’d ever be with another woman.

Ebony lay spent. Exhausted, I lay down beside her. We faced each other. She had no idea how desirable she was after sex. The way her eyelids hung low from gratification, her parted lips as she panted, her once well-put together hairdo mangled beyond recognition. I wanted to be inside of her again. Now.

“Hey, you still have the dress on,” I reached over to grasp the fabric bunched above her hips and below her breast. “Your necklace and heels were the only things you were supposed to be wearing.”

A laugh of satisfaction came from her sexy lips. “You should have pulled it over my head.” She nodded at me. “You still have on pants, socks, and shoes.”

Resting on my back and still unable to sit up, I kicked my feet. The weight of the fabric and shoes were hard to miss. “Oh?” I wagged my eyebrows, which caused her to laugh again. I pulled together enough strength to toe off my shoes, kick off the pants, and dispose of the condom.

“Oh shit.”

“What?”

There was no condom. I’d just made love and emptied every ounce of me inside of her without protection.

“I…”

Ebony looked down at my empty hands. When she looked back, her eyes were wide with horror.

“Baby, I’m sorry, I”

She held her hand up and silenced me. Not good. I slapped my forehead. This could not be happening. I was about to leave town in few hours. I wanted to give her a night to remember, not leave her…pregnant.

“I’m sorry, Ebony. I wasn’t thinking…”

“Me neither.” She sat up on the bed and gripped the fabric pooled around her hips.

I sat up to join her.

“It’s not your fault, I usually check to make sure we’re safe but…damn it, Brian, I wanted you.”

“I skipped a step and didn’t realize it. Baby,” I reached for her hand, “I wasn’t trying to make you pregnant.”

She nodded, but didn’t speak, her eyes focused on the other side of the room.

I studied her face, worry taking over. I stroked the back of her hand with my thumb. “Ebony, baby, talk to me.”

“I’m not on birth control.”

My eyes widened. “What?”

Her eyes closed. “It makes me sick. I haven’t been on anything for the past year. I was supposed to see my doctor to get an IUD, but I’ve been so busy with school, work, and looking for another job…” She faced me, eyes wet with tears. “We’ve always been careful, Brian. I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to trap you or”

I wiped her tears. “I know.”

Damn. All it took was one time to get her pregnant. Never once did I ask if she was on birth control. I did my part in protecting us both by making sure we always had condoms. Tonight I lost all control and look at what happened.

“How long will it take before you know for sure?”

Ebony ran a hand over her face and sniffed. “There’s a test, but I have to wait to see if I miss my period. That won’t be for another two weeks.”

“Okay. Tell me what you need and I’ll pay for it. Just”

Before I could finish, she got up from the bed, pushed the fabric over her hips and kicked it into a corner of my room. She dug into the dresser and pulled out my old baseball jersey she slept in when she stayed over. Without another word, Ebony walked out of the bedroom in the direction of the bathroom. I heard the door shut firmly behind her.

Reality slapped me upside the head.

I was an ass.

Neither of us needed her pregnant, not now. I wanted her to be the mother of my children, but the timing was off. Way off.

I was well on the path of making the money needed to support a family. But this was not about what I wanted. Ebony hadn’t graduated college, let alone establish herself in her field. Damn, I could have just screwed her life up…literally.

A myriad of possibilities ran through my mind. Was this mistake going to cost her her career? Would Ebony end up hating me for the rest of her life? What if she decided she didn’t want anything else to do with me and had an abortion? Or worse, what if she had an abortion and never told me she was pregnant?

Scenario after scenario ran through my mind, none of them had a happy ending.

What had I done?

Chapter 21

I leaned over the sink and splashed ice-cold water on my face.

Just when it seemed like things couldn’t get any worse. Loss of a mentor, a job, my bank account low.

And now the chance I could, at this very moment, have a new life growing within my womb. The image of the miraculous explosion of DNA splitting and duplicating as soon as sperm met egg, from a show on the Discovery Channel, forced me to sit on the closed lid of the toilet.

A baby.

But not just any baby, Brian’s baby. The man I loved and wanted to have his children…one day. Was it possible fate decided to speed up the timetable against my will?

I sighed. Okay, the chances of me not getting pregnant were equal with the chances of me getting pregnant, fifty-fifty.

My mind went blank. I stood and splashed more water on my face. I could only imagine what Brian felt. He was ready for a baby just as much as me. His career was about to launch off the pad in hours, while mine raced toward the finish line.

Having a baby right now could sabotage both of our careers.

Yet, as crazy as it sounded…a small part of me wanted to have some part of him left behind for the next few months. Getting pregnant would be a way of making sure he came back to me.

 Oh, great, not only was I insecure, I was turning into one of those women who trapped their boyfriend into staying with them. 

How would Brian feel after spending months on the road, with women coming up to him wearing next to nothing and size two waistlines? He’d come home to discover his already voluptuous girlfriend had taken on the profile of a barge.

Brian wanted to have a family. Maybe he would be happy. But on the other hand, if he viewed this mistake as a forced reason to hang around…

I didn’t want to speculate. I could be completely wrong.

I flushed the toilet and washed my hands to carry on the pretense of leaving to use the bathroom. I closed the door behind me silently.

Brian lay sprawled on the bed, naked, and inviting. One of his hands rested on his chest, his fingers drumming silently. His other arm was draped across his face, his mouth was drawn tight in what I assumed was disappointment. 

“You hate me right now, don’t you?”

His question startled me.

“No, I don’t.”

“Ebony, baby, don’t lie. Just tell me the truth. I’ll understand.” He removed his arm from his face, his electric gaze zeroed in on me. He was serious.