A Heart Not Easily Broken (The Butterfly Memoirs) (17 page)

Until my college adviser informed me I needed more hours of experience working at an animal hospital. In order to have the amount needed to graduate in the spring, I had to find another job doing the same thing…immediately.

And worst of all, my book allowance through my scholarship was short due to budget cuts. I could afford all of my textbooks and supplies, except for one. It would take at least two weeks of paychecks from the zoo for me to afford it.

Thank God I’d been able to pay off my small car note.

I was on break at work, staring at my bank statement, bills, and note pad. No matter how many times I blinked, there was no way to fill the amount of empty spaces in my ledger. It was time to make an executive decision. Ask my parents for a loan or pawn the title of my car to have enough money to buy my book and pad my account for a couple of weeks. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

There was another option. Brian received a signing bonus as a part of his contract with the record label. He planned on putting a majority of it into savings and paying off a few of his debts. He’d asked me if I needed help with anything, and I’d told him no. Man did things change in a few weeks. If I asked him for help he’d do it willingly. But I didn’t want to. I was not his wife and refused to become financially dependent. Period.

For the past seven years, I’d made it on my own. There were times when things had gotten rough, but this wasn’t as bad as some of the others. This was just a setback. I would manage.

The chime on my cell phone alerted me of a text message. Brian sent a video of him walking around the practice room, introducing some guys in the band. The video ended with him beaming into the camera, promising to call as soon as he could. Seeing his enthusiasm and listening to his voice made me smile. In no mood to send a video reply, I settled for sending a text instead.

Ask him for help, idiot.

Maybe…but for right now, I would manage.

“Ms. Campbell, can I speak to you for a moment?”

Dr. Jacobs stood in the doorway of the break room, his expression stern.

Great, just what I needed, more stress.

I kept my sigh inaudible and gathered my things. “Yes, just a moment.” I stuffed my belongings into my locker and then followed behind him.

We walked down the long corridor beyond the restrooms, past the infamous supply closet, and stopped outside in the open air. He apparently didn’t want anyone hearing what he had to say.

“You will be starting fall classes soon, correct?”

Straight to the point, no small talk.

“Yes, next week.”

He nodded, adjusted his glasses on his slender nose. Dr. Jacobs was a decent man, though he lacked a lot in the looks department. He had an over-the-belt belly that reminded me of my dad and a receding hairline. In his day, he must have been a hell of a catch, at least to Mrs. Jacobs. What I could not understand is what a nineteen-year-old college freshman could see in him. What kind of favor did she earn by getting down on her knees for her best friend’s dad?

I rubbed my eyes and forced the memory away.

“I take it you’ve finished reading the text books I loaned you,” he continued, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

“Um, well…”

“You’ve had sufficient time to study them, nearly three months.”

It was more like two-and-a-half, but I was not about to correct him.

“I need them back. I can’t afford for you to be caught with them when school is in session. Someone might think I helped you cheat.”

“Help me cheat? I’ve never cheated”

“Shh!” He waved his stubby hands at me and glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot of my brief outburst.

I ground my teeth and lowered my voice. “Dr. Jacobs, you’ve known me for the last four years. You know I would never cheat. I never viewed your loaning me those books as a way to breeze through my classes.”

“Yes, well, others may not see it that way. I need you to return them tomorrow.  The notes too, all of them. I trust you won’t forget.” Finished, he walked back into the building. I could have sworn there was a satisfied gleam in his eye and pep in his step.

Why the hell couldn’t he understand none of his games were necessary? I could care less who Dr. Jacobs screwed. Two months had gone by, and I hadn’t said a word. If holding his infidelity over his head was my goal, it would have been done months ago.

Fine. He could have his damn books back. And every last note card. They were outdated by twenty years anyway. What good could they do me? Outdated chemistry charts and facts would not compete with the modern day methods of animal husbandry.

But deep down, it felt like I was the one getting screwed. And it wasn’t in a good way.

***

Several hours later, I lay on my bed, massaging my temples while nursing a headache. I was too broke to afford a coke and a smile. My laptop lay beside me and the job ads were open on the screen. There were plenty of jobs that would provide the amount of money needed to stay afloat. The only problem is none of them were animal hospitals. Working at the gas station would not earn me the hours needed to secure the full-time zoo position.

Seven years suddenly felt like a total waste. I had enough money to manage my expenses for at least two months without having a second job. After that…

I didn’t want to think that far ahead for fear my brain matter would melt down to mere sludge.

Two months. That meant if I didn’t find another job soon, by the time Brian came back, I would be getting ready to quit school. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful welcome home present?

Brian would get off the tour bus, ready to welcome me in his arms. He would still be handsome but his clothes would smell like beer, smoke, and God knows what else happened on the bus. Wait a minute; he’d better not get off the bus smelling like another woman…

I sighed.

If there was one thing I learned during our time together it was this: Brian was a man of his word. If he promised monogamy, he’d do it. If he wanted more or someone else, he wouldn’t waste either of our time. He’d come right out and say it.

Did I think he’d cheat on me while he was away? He was a man, and all men have needs. Somehow, deep in my heart, I didn’t think he would. What else could I do but trust? If I wasted time suspecting or questioning him, the only thing I’d do was push him down that path. If he did stray, then somehow the truth would come out. It always did.

Damn, one week until he left for three months. At least he wouldn’t be around to watch me go into scramble mode. It would not be pretty. What he didn’t know wouldn’t affect his ability to play. The last thing I wanted to be was a distraction in any way.

I supported his decision to go on the road, knowing how much it would boost his career. Now, I needed to focus on mine.

My headache subsided enough to sit up and turn on the light in my darkened room. It was nearly dusk, and Brian hadn’t texted me yet. Another sign of a long day for him. Maybe if I focused on pleasing him for the next week, it would take away some of my own stress and help me see things from a different prospective. Then I may be able to navigate my way through this financial mess.

I forced myself off the bed and walked to the closet. Brian would be leaving on Sunday morning. His band planned a big farewell party at the club where they performed Saturday night. Brian was ecstatic when he showed me one of the flyers. The turnout promised to be bigger than any of their regular shows. They had a large following. The band had already found a replacement bass player, someone Brian recommended. On his last night at the club, he would play a few songs for old time’s sake before officially handing over his spot on stage to the new guy.

After that, the rest of the night belonged to us.

My original plan had been to buy a slinky dress that would keep his eyes on me all night long. His eyes never wandered when we were together, but still.

That was before I lost my part-time job. Now…

I pushed through the clothes hangers until I reached the last one hiding in the back. What do you know? The infamous dress I swore never to wear again.

The little black number that started it all.

Wearing it again would be…perfect.

Chapter 20

Time had run out.

I glanced at my watch. Ebony would be ready for me to pick her up in a few hours. A quick shower, shave, grab a bite to eat, and be on my way. Oh yeah, make sure the room was straight since this was where we’d spend the night.

I really wanted to get a hotel room, but she insisted it would be a waste of money. Her logic made sense. My intention was to leave with a memory of a night neither of us would forget. But it didn’t matter where we were. Just being together would be enough. 

My clothes landed in a heap on top of my laundry basket. I grabbed my outfit for the evening and lay it on the bed. Black slacks, a black dress shirt, complimented by a blue and black tie. I would even wear my black dress shoes for the occasion. A glint of silver tinsel resting on my nightstand grabbed my attention. Ebony’s gift. She was going to love it. I debated all day about surprising her when picking her up, but decided tonight, when we were alone, would be the perfect time.

While in the shower, I reviewed the list of things handled in preparation for my departure.

Dylan and Peter had been working for me for months. They knew my customers, but didn’t know the amount of work it took to run the business. I decided to entrust Peter with the finer details and the computer software used to track the finances. After two weeks, they were prepared. Since neither of them owned a vehicle capable of carrying the tools required for the job, I left my truck and the equipment in it in their care. Even though it cost money, I added them to my automobile and business insurance for the next few months. I had confidence in their ability to take care of the business. But hey, shit happened.

Upon signing with the label for the duration of the tour, I received a check. I hadn’t seen that many zeros on a piece of paper with my name on it. Ever. After paying on some bills like my student loan I paid my half of the rent and utilities for the duration of my time away. My one splurge was buying the guitar I really wanted, a sweet Fender Rodger Water’s Precision Electric Bass Guitar. The original price had been a breathtaking twelve hundred dollars, but I found it on sale for eight hundred, brand spanking new.

The rest went into my savings account where I’d been squirreling away money, bit-by-bit. As much as it took a load off of my pocket having Javan for a roommate, it was time to get my own place. I had a future to plan.

A dog…a wife…kids.

I wanted Ebony to be my wife. If we could make it through the next couple of months apart, we could make it when I got back. Before I asked her to marry me, I needed something to offer her. Buying a house would be one of the first things I researched upon my return.

But, first things first.

I stared into the bathroom mirror and adjusted my tie. Damn, I looked good. I smirked and added a few shots of the cologne Ebony loved.

A knock on the doorjamb startled me. I peered over my shoulder and saw Javan’s hulking frame.

“Looking good, man. It’s about time you picked up my sense of style. It’s a shame it took hooking up with a sista’ to do it,” he ribbed.

“Hey, I know how to dress. I just don’t need to strut around like a peacock.”

“Oh, you’ve got jokes.”

I grinned and turned out the light. Javan moved out of the way and followed me down the hall.

“You all packed?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“You leave on Sunday, right?”

“Yep.” I palmed my keys and stopped in the kitchen for a bottle of water.

Javan shook his head.

“What?” I gulped the ice cold liquid.

“All those women…man, it’ll be ‘ho central. I’m jealous.”

I lifted an eyebrow and laughed. “I’m working, J. Besides, I don’t have time for anyone else. I’ve found the woman I want.”

“Ebony?” He chuckled. “You sure about that? You know what they say, when the cat’s away, the mice play and all that shit.”

“Nah, I’m not worried. She’s waiting for me, and I’m saving it all for her.” I disposed of the empty bottle.

Javan eyed me for a moment. “A woman like her, wait? Yeah, right. I tell you what; I’ll keep an eye on her while you’re gone. Believe me; she’ll be well taken care of.”

Every muscle in my body went on alert. I turned slowly and faced him. “What did you just say?”

“I said, don’t worry. I’ll keep an eye out, you know, in case Ebony needs anything. Damn, man, what did you think I meant?”

I studied Javan’s eyes for any reason why I should not trust him. Yeah, he’d made hints of wanting to get with Ebony, but he’d backed off when he learned we were a couple. In fact, we’d double dated with him and Yasmine several times. Ebony didn’t let on he still bothered her.

I couldn’t find a hint of deception. It was probably my possessiveness, making a simple comment into something more. “Guess I misunderstood you.”

“You got that right. I’ll be gone tonight so you love birds can swing from the rafters if you need to.”  He grinned.

That solidified it. I needed my own place, even if it was an apartment.

“Thanks.” I glanced at my watch. “Gotta go.” I shook his hand and left.

My foot was a lead weight on the way to Ebony’s place.

By the time I rang her doorbell, the anticipation of seeing her again had driven me crazy. The front porch light came on, door opened, and my love stood illuminated by the light.

My heart stopped beating, my mouth went dry, and my body went into full attention. How was it possible after I’d seen, touched, kissed, and lusted over every glorious part of her naked body, did it feel like seeing her for the first time?

Her auburn hair sat high off her shoulders and hung in springy spirals, which framed her lovely face. She wore the same black strapless number she’d worn the night we met, leaving my eyes free range to travel across her delicious throat, to the necklace that was a constant decoration, and over ample cleavage.