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Authors: David Gerrold

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BOOK: A Covenant of Justice
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Sawyer scratched his head in puzzlement. “I guess I still don't get it. We had toads back home. Big things too—” He held up his hands, half a meter apart, to demonstrate the size. “—I don't see how you could swallow one live. We used to eat them all the time when we couldn't get anything else. They tasted awful. You don't know how bad something can taste until you've eaten fried toad. Uh-uh—”

The TimeBinder looked bemused. He hid his smile behind his hand, pretending to scratch his nose. When he looked over at Sawyer again, he said, “Something else besides the terrible taste of toads troubles you. And you want me to help you find a resolution, correct?”

“I don't know,” Sawyer admitted. “I guess I just wanted you to explain something. What did you mean when you said that Finn and I didn't have the larger vision? Explain this larger vision thing to me.”

This time, Three-Dollar didn't laugh at Sawyer's ignorance. Instead, he spoke calmly and patiently. “Lee told me how you tried to teach honor to Kask, the Dragon. Do you remember how frustrated you became? The Dragon could only think of himself and his own honor; he didn't care at all about the rest of you or your survival.”

Sawyer shrugged. “Dragons don't have a lot of intelligence. If a Dragon wants to complete a thought, he has to stand very close to another Dragon—whoever has the other synapse.”

“Actually, Dragons have a great deal of intelligence,” the TimeBinder corrected. “But most of them focus their attention so tightly that they never get the chance to exercise their very real wisdom.”

“Really?” Sawyer looked over at Three-Dollar.

“I have it on the best authority.” He tapped his halo. “I remember it well. But, do you understand my point about the Dragon not caring about the rest of you?”

“Yes, I guess I do.”

“You survived—you and Lee and all of the others—because you cooperated, right?”

“Mostly.”

“Right. But the Dragon didn't get it—not like the rest of you. So he wouldn't cooperate. And the rest of you felt angry and frustrated, not just because he didn't cooperate, but because he didn't even understand the
need
to cooperate.”

“And you think that Finn and I behaved as badly as the Dragon?”

“Badly? No. The Dragon didn't behave badly. He behaved exactly as a Dragon should have behaved. He couldn't have done anything else, because he didn't know anything else. And, if you remember, the Dragon demonstrated an extraordinary capacity to learn better. When he finally did learn that he had misplaced his trust and his honor and that the Vampires had betrayed him, what did he do? He
created
a new allegiance for himself, an allegiance to an even high standard.”

“You didn't answer my question—”

“Do I think you and Finn behaved as badly as the Dragon? No, I think the two of you behaved worse. Much worse. The Dragon didn't know better. You did.”

Sawyer could feel the heat of his anger rising, but he suppressed the impulse. It hurt his throat to swallow so much pride, but he forced it down anyway. “We didn't have a choice,” he said defensively.

Three-Dollar snorted. “You had a choice. You chose not to acknowledge it.”

Sawyer started to rise. “Thanks for your time, but I've already had enough abuse for today—”

The TimeBinder grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “We haven't finished, Sawyer. You wanted to understand the
larger vision
. Before we can talk about that, you have to acknowledge the truth of your present vision. You and Finn have a focus almost as narrow as that of the Dragon. Just as the Dragons train themselves to focus only on their personal honor, you and your brother trained yourself to focus only on your own needs.”

“So? Why shouldn't we? Who else would have watched out for us?”

“Sawyer, please—” The TimeBinder's voice remained calm and mellow. “I don't do this to hurt you. And I have a different purpose other than to sit in judgment of you. Understand, though, that you and Finn could just as easily have trained yourselves to live by a higher standard. The Dragon didn't have a choice in his training. You did. Can you understand that distinction?”

“I guess so. Yes.”

“Good. Thank you. Because now you can begin to learn. The Dragon had to break his training to learn the higher vision of cooperation with your makeshift band of escapees. Can you acknowledge the courage it took for Kask to do that? Because you would have to do the same—break your lifelong training—to learn the larger vision that I talked about with Lee.”

Sawyer felt frustrated. “I hear your words,” he said, “but they sound just like the same kind of words that everybody else uses.”

“Yes, I guess they do. Let me try it another way. Can you accept responsibility for yourself?”

“I don't understand.”

“Yes, you do. Can you accept responsibility for your own actions. Will you accept the consequences?”

“Uh—I already have. Oh, I see—yes, I guess I do accept responsibility for myself.”

“Yes, you do. You've demonstrated that over and over again. Now, let's expand that vision. Can you accept responsibility for yourself
and
for Finn. Will you act as the cause of your lives, instead of the effect?”

“Cause? Effect?”

“Cause chooses. Effect lets others choose. Can you act as cause for yourself and Finn?”

Sawyer nodded. “Yes, I already do.”

“Good. Now, think for a minute. Could you act as cause for the band of escapees you led out of the labor camp? Could you commit yourself to the success of that group?”

“We had no choice—”

“You could have gone your own way.”

“No, we couldn't. We had to—” Reluctantly, Sawyer finished the sentence. “—We had to stay with Lee, so he would lead us to you.”

“You could have gone your own way. You could have chosen to let Finn die. Or you could have chosen to abandon the group. Or you could have—”

“Lee represented the Alliance of Life, so he had to commit himself to the survival of the others, so we had no choice either but to also commit to the success of the group—”

“My point exactly. Sometimes, in order to succeed as an individual, you have to make sure that the family succeeds. Sometimes, in order to succeed as a family, you have to make sure that the tribe succeeds. Sometimes, in order to succeed as a tribe, you have to make sure that the nation succeeds. Do I have to go on? Sometimes, you have to make sure that your people succeed. Can you commit to that? Can you accept that large a responsibility?”

Sawyer shook his head. “I can't even conceive of it.”

“Yes, I know. But now that I've planted the thought in your head, you'll have to think about it, because it won't go away.”

“I find it very hard to believe that people would willingly unite for a purpose as nebulous as you describe.”

“I'll make it even harder for you to believe, Sawyer. Sometimes, people will not only commit to the success of a larger group; sometimes they will even sacrifice their own personal goals to ensure that larger success.”

Sawyer didn't answer that immediately. “It just seems so stupid to me,” he said. “Why die for people you don't know? They don't care. Nobody cares. Nobody ever did—except Finn.”

“I see,” said Three-Dollar. And he did.

My Dinner with Zillabar

A curious thought had occurred to Lady Zillabar. In space, no one can hear you break the law. After some consideration, she decided to wear the resulting smile on her public face, but simply not explain it.

She hissed away her maids and checked her appearance in a full-length mirror. As always, she demanded an impeccable presentation. Tonight, she wore a scarlet shroud wrapped tightly around her entire body, leaving only her head free. She could barely move. Her maids would have to wheel her in, serve her, feed her, hold her glass to her lips for her.

She enjoyed the feeling of helplessness—while at the same time, remaining totally in control. She enjoyed taunting her privileged guests with this performance. Perhaps she relished her insect heritage. She fantasized about hives and queens. She thought about all the workers who lived only to service the queen, all the drones who lived only to mate with her. The queen lay in her chambers. She spent her entire life in glorious dreamtime. She ate and grew fat. She mated and grew fatter. She laid eggs, eventually at the rate of two or three a day.

Lady Zillabar didn't particularly enjoy the last part of that fantasy. She knew that she had the responsibility to further the Zashti line. Sometimes she wished that she could avoid it, but she knew that when at last she finally did mate with some unfortunate male, the hormonal surge would carry her into a state of psychotic desires. She would want nothing else, but to eat and mate and lay eggs—and she would want nothing else until her reproductive storm began to ebb. With that in mind, she knew that she had to firmly consolidate her authority
before
the storm clouds began to gather over her bed. Otherwise . . . events would sweep past her. She had to stop the Gathering; if she could do that, she could safely mate.

She thought about d'Vashti and laughed. She couldn't imagine him accepting her challenge. Without a challenger, she could go for years without having to risk mating. Hm. Perhaps d'Vashti had done her a favor by arranging the death of Drydel.

Satisfied, she nodded to her maids. They maneuvered her gracefully onto a slanted board and wheeled her into the dining salon where her guests waited—the senior officers of her starship, all Phaestor, several of her most trusted personal aides, and the Dragon Lord. They stood as she entered and applauded the glimmering audacity of her gown. Beyond the windows, the Eye of God stared balefully, a wall of blazing light that colored everything in the salon with an unholy aura. She loved it.

The Dragon Lord waited respectfully at the end of the table, his tail twitching patiently back and forth. Her attendants wheeled her the entire length of the room so she could greet him face to face.

“My Lady,” he said, bowing his great head low enough to look her straight in the eye. “You look good enough to eat!” And then he laughed in that great booming rumble of his, loud enough to rattle the slender glasses on the table.

Behind her, Lady Zillabar could sense the shocked silence of her officers. Too straitlaced to visibly appreciate a joke as vulgar as this without approval, they waited for the Lady's reaction. Zillabar and the Dragon Lord exchanged a private smile; he enjoyed teasing her like this. They had shared this joke before. At last, mindful of her attendants and her officers, she allowed her amusement to break through to the surface. She replied with coy grace, “But my Lord, you'll spoil your appetite for dinner.”

“For such an hors d'oeuvre, I would gladly spoil a hundred dinners, a thousand!”

“But, my Lord, while I would willingly do anything in my power to offer you that pleasure, I fear that such an act of generosity might also spoil
my
dinner—and I would not have you bear such a stain upon your honor.”

“As always, you think too much of me and not enough of yourself, Madame. If it pleases you to climb onto my plate, I would not dream of stopping you. I will happily bear any shame, any disgrace, for such a treat.”

“Ah, my Lord Dragon, you do me such honor, I shall surely swoon from delight. But, as you can see, my present attire makes such an act, no matter how much I desire it, impossible to implement. I lack the ability to make any move at all under my own volition.”

“Gracious Madam, if you will allow me the honor of touching your esteemed person, I would gladly place you myself upon my plate.”

“Oh, Great Lizard, as much as the thought of your touch thrills me, I fear that such an action might appear presumptuous and greedy, for you would leave little for the rest of my guests.”

At last, the Dragon conceded the point and put on his most sorrowful expression. “I shall remain forever disappointed.”

“Not half as disappointed as I,” Zillabar laughed in conclusion. “Eaten by a Dragon—who could wish for a more delicious death? You have me almost convinced to strip off this shroud and leap onto your plate right now. But, Great Lord, it occurs to me that you would not want to miss the entertainment I have planned for tonight's dinner, an entertainment in which I must play a particularly important role. You will appreciate its elegance, of that I have no doubt.”

The Dragon Lord bowed. He lowered his huge head almost to the floor, then raised it again and towered over all the rest of the guests. Their banter concluded, the Lady hissed at her attendants and they wheeled her around to the head of the table.

Entertainment

After the attendants had seated all the Lady's guests at their places, the two elegant chairs at Lady Zillabar's left hand still remained empty. The Captain of the starship and several of the Lady's aides looked at the places with open curiosity. The Lady
never
allowed her guest list to unbalance her banquet table. The reputation of her hospitality, as well as the stories told about the sumptuousness of her sideboard, had spread throughout the Phaestor aristocracy; young Vampires all over the Regency aspired for an invitation to her table; so any gap in the seating arrangement, could only provoke curiosity among the rest of the guests present.

Lady Zillabar waited until everybody had settled themselves, then nodded to one of her aides. The aide exited, and a moment later, returned with a very chastened-looking Sawyer and Finn Markham. The young Vampire led them silently to the empty places, directing Finn specifically to the chair closest to Lady Zillabar. The two brothers looked at the exquisitely dressed table and the array of lustrous guests, looked at each other with reluctant agreement, and sat down warily.

“How
sweet
of you to join us,” the Lady said sweetly. “You don't look very well, Finn. I do hope you have the strength for this little celebration. I would hate to have your discomfort spoil anyone's evening. You will let me know if you begin to feel weak, won't you? Thank you.” To the rest of her guests, she announced, “Gentlemen, may I introduce to you two of the very best trackers in the Regency, Sawyer and Finn Markham. They have provided many useful services and this dinner in their honor allows me to reward them in an appropriate manner.”

BOOK: A Covenant of Justice
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